I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
