TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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