Got a toothbrush?
so that wasnt chicken after all
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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