I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
