i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
i think we sleep fucked last night...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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