i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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