Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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