so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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