Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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