he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
