When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
organizing the empties. That sober.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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