Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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