Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So vagazzling was a success
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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