i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
