Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Randomize
