by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
