we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
