I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
