Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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