you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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