Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
