If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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