I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
