It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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