I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
