After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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