brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
