If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
