it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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