I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I wear drunk well.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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