He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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