Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
