I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
