The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
