he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
