I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
