Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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