He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
