she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
