Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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