Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
