I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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