i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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