By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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