Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Who died my cat blue again?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
