Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
