Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
