Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
