Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
