She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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