"it" just moved
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
