thus making me awesome and them whores
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
