life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
